Weird Deer

Travis might have convinced you that I’m really into politics, but don’t let him fool you. I’m not one of those Iowans.

Well, at least I wasn’t ’till this year. Maybe it’s because I’m older and more mature (18!), or maybe it’s because the candidates are more fascinating this year (Chris Dodd’s hair!). Whatever it was that triggered the political part of my brain, it now had me hooked. I wish I had been pulled in earlier while you two were visiting so I could have tagged along to hear the speeches, but whatever. By caucus time I was ready.

I didn’t know if it was cool or not to tag along with the oldies, but I wasn’t ready to try this on my own so I ended up going with my parents to the caucus at the high school. As you saw from our dueling yard signs, Mom is a crazy Hillary fan while Dad is all for Obama. I hoped to see someone I knew to hang out with, so I wouldn’t get caught in the middle.

Of course, it was freezing out once we got to the high school, and of course, we had to wait in line outside. The caucus was separated into two areas depending on where you lived. Even though the doorman was giving out what he probably thought were clear instructions, people were still confused and many were in the wrong line. When we got close enough, I saw that the doorman had a huge name tag on that said, “Hi, my name is Gary.” Gary kept telling unfunny Republican jokes. I could tell that he was trying to lighten the atmosphere, but the truth was, all everybody wanted was just to get inside where it was warm.

Anybody who looked elderly or frail, Gary let inside in front of everyone else (I figure next caucus, I’ll bring a cane). Finally, we inched up to the door, but when we got in, it was total chaos. All three of us had to go our separate ways to get registered. There were no pens, two pads of registration slips, three volunteers, and six hundred people. Democracy.

When I finally got my hands on a registration slip, I felt like I had made it to the promised land. But, of course, I didn’t have a pen. I noticed the girl in front of me was almost done filling out her slip, but everyone else was eying her also. When she went to put the pen down, I saw ten eyes glance at it and five hands dart for it. Thankfully, my reflexes worked fast enough, and I got the pen first. My second victory!

Now my last task was to wait in line to be tallied for my first choice for president. I didn’t realize that this was not my final vote, so I was nervous about whom to chose, but I had made my decision–Obama was my man!

Inside the commons area of the high school there was a little more breathing room. The first thing I did was get my Obama gear–stickers and pins. Then it was off to find a table in the Obama section. I found a table where my dad was sitting with four , uh, unique characters. One may have been a teacher where I go to school–I’d seen her around and she usually said hi to me, but tonight she ignored me. Drama! Then there was Wilderness Girl complete with fanny pack and a Nalgeen; a computer geek with a Mac t-shirt on; and a little red haired
leprechaun who seemed to be interested in Wilderness Girl, but not for her Nalgeen.

Fortunately, a friend of mine, Allison, came running up to me to relieve me from the awkwardness of the table. We two decided to find our own table. Even though we were both Obama fans, we went into alien territory and snagged the free cookies from the Edwards table, and sandwiches from the Hillary group. Obama’s fans had to go hungry, I guess.

After we ate, it was time to just observe the people. One lady in the Edwards section caught my eye and everyone else’s. She was a tall platinum blond in her 50′s with a “keep abortion legal” t-shirt and an American flag for a skirt. She was staring back at everyone with a “what are you lookin’ at” sneer. We were like, “your skirt and your hair, lady!’ We weren’t the youngest ones there because there seemed to be a lot of whiny little kids running around with their parents not paying any attention to them whatsoever. Gary and his sidekick Mary Lou stood on chairs shouting instructions but no one was really listening although everyone was nodding their heads as if they were.

By now, everyone had gone to their corners-separating themselves by candidate. There were so many of the Obama supporters we didn’t get a corner—they put us in a separate room! The Obama leaders were not happy about this at all and kept yelling that we shouldn’t be in here, that we should be out there so everyone can seen how strong we are. We were pretty strong. I admit it. I felt like lifting a car with my teeth.

Now it was time for the first head count. There was an old African-American lady who took over and I don’t know how she did it, but she got everyone to listen to her. Somehow we all got into a line and she started to count us, even Allison who had never even registered and was only 17. The old counting lady had to keep starting over because people would move into the line like in the middle, but when the votes finally came in in, Obama was in the lead, Hillary was close in second, and Biden, Edwards, Dodd, and Kucinich didn’t have enough people to be viable. You had to have at least 15% of the total to be viable, which was about eighty people. Edwards was short 1 vote.

Now the madness started.

People stood on tables using rolled up pieces of paper as megaphones, trying to recruit anybody and everyone to their candidates. For at least another half hour they were like, “Eat a sandwich, vote for Hillary!” “Cookie? Edwards!”

Allison and I went back to our first table because we needed some breathing room. First it was just us, but then people started drifting over to join us. There was an older African-American man with a huge gray afro eating graham crackers and reading the newspaper. One of the men at the table had a camera and asked Allison if she wanted to be in the Tribune. That caught the graham cracker eater’s attention, and while Allison was posing for the camera, he looked up and said to me,” if you join the Edwards group, I’ll get you in the paper, too.” I politely declined, but he was VERY persistent. I almost had to dropkick the graham cracker out of his mouth.

It was time for another count and the race came down to three candidates—Obama, Hillary, and Edwards. No one went back into the separate Obama room. Now everyone was back in the commons area. This was the final count to decide how many delegates each candidate would get. The people doing the counting were sitting at a table in their area and the caucus goers just marched around the table to be counted. I think some of the people marched around more than once, but no one was really keeping track.

Twenty minutes later the final counts were in and it suddenly got deathly silent. This time everyone listened to Gary and Mary Lou as they announced the results. She said Edwards came in third place and there wasn’t much of a cheer, but you could tell everyone in the Hillary and Obama camp had fingers crossed and prayers on their lips. When Mary Lou announced those results —Hillary second and Obama first—the place erupted. Everyone around me was ecstatic. People jumped up and down and hugged total strangers while shouting, “we did it, we did it!” I tried to get a wave going but it just ended up with just me, Allison, and the Tribune guy.

The cheering went on for about five minutes, and the next thing I knew the place had cleared out gone except me and my parents and Gary and Mary Lou.

That was it. I came home and spread the good news to a couple friends via text-message—Obama wins! Heck yes! One down, forty nine to go.

XOXO
Love,

Caity